Uh Oh
by Chione of the Nile
Summary: Gary gets a BIG surprise when he goes into wake up his cousin. Like maybe that he's sleeping with ALAN, who is in fact a woman! What a start to the day. PLEASE R


_**Uh Oh**_

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**Disclaimer – **I do not own anything from the wonderful world of Tamora Pierce.

**Summary – **Gary gets a BIG surprise when he goes into wake up his cousin

**Author's/Note – **Cliché's 1 through 27 here, just so you know. PLEASE REVIEW and tell me what you think!

_And everyone thank Lady Mage for the wonderful beta job!_

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Jonathan pushed Alanna back onto his bed roughly, his large hand fighting to pull off her uniform, his mouth never leaving hers. Alanna pushed his tunic off of his shoulders, scraping her nails down his toned chest towards the bulge in his pants.

Jonathan gasped, tearing his mouth from hers to attack her collarbone.

"Jon," Alanna moaned as she fumbled with the buckle of his pants. He stilled her movements, looking into her amethyst eyes as he unbuckled them himself. She took his cue, slipping out of her own, before meeting him halfway, both succumbing to the passion between them.

Little did they know that in the heat of passion, they had forgotten to lock the door.

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Gary whistled as he walked down a hall to rouse his friends, wanting to go on a morning ride. Jon wouldn't be awake enough to protest, and Alan would just be happy to maybe, just maybe, get out of etiquette class. In his immortal words, _"What's the point of going if I'm never going to use what I learn? I hate socializing!" _Gary laughed to himself, drawing a strange look from a guard, not socializing; Gary wouldn't be able to get through a week - a knight was, after all, a social animal.

He turned to his cousin's room, grabbing the handle and turning it, ready to startle Jonathan awake, unaware that he was the one who was about to get the shock of a lifetime.

"Jon!" He shouted, swinging the door open and walking blindly over to the large bed. "Get out of bed you lump!"

"What the hell?" The lump grumbled, sitting up.

"Time to get up Jon," Gary teased, grabbing the edge of the thick blanket. "Mithros Jon," he remarked, torturing the heir to the throne momentarily forgotten. "How can you breathe under this?"

Said heir didn't answer, just responder by yanking the cover up over his head, exposing his legs, and another feminine pair tangled with his.

_Ah shit_, Gary thought; he had forgotten momentarily how popular Jon was with the ladies. He turned to walk out of the room, and then froze. Jon had avoided the court women like a plague lately, even started to ignore the lovely, the amazing, the stunning Lady Delia! What was with that? He was smitten with someone, and now was Gary's chance to find out whom!

Grinning manically, Gary walked silently over to the large bed. He leaned over his cousin and mysterious woman, carefully pulling back the thick cover.

Red hair, she had dark red hair. That was the first thing he saw. As he pulled it down further, he tried to think of what noble woman with that unique colour, and his mind came up blank. There wasn't anyone. He pulled it down further, revealing a porcelain forehead, and copper brows. Gary's forehead creased, she was familiar looking…

Patience gone, he pulled the blanket down to the woman's waist.

"**Shit!"** He shouted pulling his hand away as though it had been burned and running it through his hair. "Shit, shit, shit!" It was Alan, but Alan had...a…a…_womanly_ shape! Oh Mithros!

"Wha?" Jonathan asked, sitting up, waking, whoever it was.

"What is it Jon?" Alanna asked, sitting up and rubbing her eyes. "Oh no," she breathed, staring at Gary with wide amethyst eyes.

"What?" Jon asked, settling back down on the bed, pulling at the blankets, much to, _Alan's_, dismay.

"Jonathan of Conté!" She shrieked, staring at Gary who was still gaping openly.

"What," he murmured, opening his azure eyes. "Ah damn it," he said, wincing.

Gary was pacing around the room, a shocked look on his face, "what the hell is going on here?" He managed to squeak out.

"Sit down Gary!" Jonathan ordered, clearly alarmed at his cousin and friends antics. "We'll explain everything, alright?"

"What?" Alanna snapped, turning to glare at her lover.

"It's not like we have much of a choice," he said, ignoring her glare. Alanna stood up, bringing the blanket with her.

"I'm going to go get ready, you deal with him," she snapped as she went into her room, slamming the door behind her.

"What's going on Jon?" Gary asked, seemingly overcoming his shock.

"That was Alanna of Trebond; she wanted to be a knight, so she and her brother switched places."

"But how did you find out?" Gary inquired a faraway look in his eyes. Jon knew that his cousin was piecing together all the odds and ends that had puzzled him about 'Alan' over the years.

"At the Black City," a new voice answered. Jonathan and Gary looked at the door to see Alanna, dressed in her spare squire's uniform come into the room. As Gary looked up at her, he did a double take. For some reason, he was expecting her to be glaringly feminine, but instead, he saw Squire Alan, with a murderous look in his face.

"How did you manage to disguise yourself?" Gary asked. "I mean, you obviously have breasts," he said animatedly, reminding her that he had seen them. "And how do you manage to…" he trailed off.

"None of us have seen you swim or bathe," he realized. "Mithros, uncle's going to have fits!" He shouted, slapping his knee.

"That's right," Jon said, pulling Alanna down to his lap, covering his bare body with her clothed one.

"You're not going to tell are you?" Alanna asked, suddenly fearful. Gary looked at her seriously.

"No, but one question. How in Mithros' name did you convince Coram to let you do this?" He asked, knowing that Coram would as soon give up drinking than let her masquerade as a boy.

Alanna grinned, letting purple fire collect on her fingers.

"Magic," she said. Jonathan laughed, putting his hand over hers, effectively extinguishing the amethyst fire. He pulled her hips close, kissing her on the lips soundly.

Gary sighed, wincing slightly. This was going to take awhile to get used to.

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_**Sorry about the abrupt ending, but I didn't want to just have what happened in the book reply itself! **_

_**PLEASE REVIEW!**_

_**Chione**_

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